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Once you start traveling down the marriage highway, it is easy to forget that one great way to keep the love alive is to spend "just you two" time. Especially after you started adding kids in the mix. We have being using Friday Night Date Night as just the way to have that time. We initially found that finding the time, money, and babysitter made the ideas of date seem like too much trouble very often. Then we some how, heard about it I think, came up with a way that made all the obstacles disappear. And I believe that our relationship reflects the benefit of that night out.
To start with we have a large family, five children to be exact. We also were blessed with friends who have that same number of my kids and that is vital in making this work.
And this works how?
Here is the basics: every week on Friday, either us or our friends has a night out. We alternate weeks and I tell you, seldom do we miss it. The couple who is going out takes their children over to the house of the other couple around 5:30, for example Kathlyn (our friend) brings them over to our house. Julie then feeds all the kids (nuggets are a main staple) and then the kids all hang out until around 9. At that time, Julie takes Kat's kids back to their house and snuggles those cuties into bed. She then stays there until Kat & Jeff return home. And what's great is there no time limit. I'd take care of my kids back home. The next week, our turn.
Okay. Show me the reason this is so important.
In all it's simplicity, the plan is flawless. Doesn't it seem that we overthink things too much sometimes?
* A consistent, responsible babysitter who is never late nor seldom backs out. You gotta remember the babysitter has a date already on the books for next week that depends on yours going off without a hitch.
* You dont have to pay the babysitter. 6 hours for 5 kids can run into some serious change.
* Most babysitters come in teenager sizes. And for a 13 or 14 year old to manage 5 kids is asking a whole lot. The cool thing about combining the families is that they tend to babysit themselves as they play together. And it really is not all that difficult. Plus as parents with 5 kids, we have the expertise to handle the group.
*The old "I just trained my sitter and now she has a job, boyfriend, life, ____(fill in the blank)". And your out of luck. Doesn't happen here.
* You don't have to worry about phone calls. Stressing about what's going on at home can suck the fun out of a date faster than you can say "Help!!!!".
* There is no one to drive home or to pickup to take home. Everyone is in bed and has their own car (we actually live so close we walk back and forth a lot!) to get on their way. No dread dessert with this lovely meal, thanks!
* Because your kids weren't at home messing up your house, you can come home and get up with no messy clean up looming in front of you.
* And if those weren't enough reasons, the mom who stays home always has some "her time" after she puts the other couples kids to bed. How nice to relax and catch up on the stack of mail or play Wii without the kids nagging at your inability!
So what now?
I don't know about you, but even though my older kids babysit others and their siblings, the reasons listed previously (phone calls, messy house, etc) keeps on track with the current course of date night. We foresee this happening until all our kiddos move on down the road.
So what's stopping you? Ask those friends that as are harried as you are and long to wear grown up clothes and have grown up conversations. If you can't ask, just shove this article in their hand and look at them pleadingly.
To start with we have a large family, five children to be exact. We also were blessed with friends who have that same number of my kids and that is vital in making this work.
And this works how?
Here is the basics: every week on Friday, either us or our friends has a night out. We alternate weeks and I tell you, seldom do we miss it. The couple who is going out takes their children over to the house of the other couple around 5:30, for example Kathlyn (our friend) brings them over to our house. Julie then feeds all the kids (nuggets are a main staple) and then the kids all hang out until around 9. At that time, Julie takes Kat's kids back to their house and snuggles those cuties into bed. She then stays there until Kat & Jeff return home. And what's great is there no time limit. I'd take care of my kids back home. The next week, our turn.
Okay. Show me the reason this is so important.
In all it's simplicity, the plan is flawless. Doesn't it seem that we overthink things too much sometimes?
* A consistent, responsible babysitter who is never late nor seldom backs out. You gotta remember the babysitter has a date already on the books for next week that depends on yours going off without a hitch.
* You dont have to pay the babysitter. 6 hours for 5 kids can run into some serious change.
* Most babysitters come in teenager sizes. And for a 13 or 14 year old to manage 5 kids is asking a whole lot. The cool thing about combining the families is that they tend to babysit themselves as they play together. And it really is not all that difficult. Plus as parents with 5 kids, we have the expertise to handle the group.
*The old "I just trained my sitter and now she has a job, boyfriend, life, ____(fill in the blank)". And your out of luck. Doesn't happen here.
* You don't have to worry about phone calls. Stressing about what's going on at home can suck the fun out of a date faster than you can say "Help!!!!".
* There is no one to drive home or to pickup to take home. Everyone is in bed and has their own car (we actually live so close we walk back and forth a lot!) to get on their way. No dread dessert with this lovely meal, thanks!
* Because your kids weren't at home messing up your house, you can come home and get up with no messy clean up looming in front of you.
* And if those weren't enough reasons, the mom who stays home always has some "her time" after she puts the other couples kids to bed. How nice to relax and catch up on the stack of mail or play Wii without the kids nagging at your inability!
So what now?
I don't know about you, but even though my older kids babysit others and their siblings, the reasons listed previously (phone calls, messy house, etc) keeps on track with the current course of date night. We foresee this happening until all our kiddos move on down the road.
So what's stopping you? Ask those friends that as are harried as you are and long to wear grown up clothes and have grown up conversations. If you can't ask, just shove this article in their hand and look at them pleadingly.
About the Author:
Julie and Matt Hellstrom are a happily married couple with 5 lovely, impossible kids, and they've gained much practical experience during their marriage. Learn about their trials and joys at their Marriage Blog. Friday Night Date Night is just one of the many tips you'll find at our How to Fix My Marriage website - http://howtofixmymarriage.com.
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