Sunday, February 8, 2009

Divorce: How To Save Your Marriage

By Ras Reed

One of the things you must discern is that we are not the same. Even twins are different in terms of personality and character. Commonly, when you meet someone, the first thing that catches your attention in that person is what is absent in you that the person has. Even though you may have something in common with the person you are going out with, there will still be some things that make the two of you different from each other. You should discern that it is this difference that made you marry your wife or husband in the first place.
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The rationale why numerous marriages break up is because they fail to recognize the differences that brought them together before everything. In other words, they never permitted the differences. But if you accept or are aware of the differences, you will desist from any attempt to change your spouse. If you keep attempting to change him or her, you will become trapped in a frustrating marriage and once you can no longer bear, you select divorce. What you must do is to cultivate the habit of acceptance and you can do so by observing the following.

Make sure you keep an open mind. Without it, you will not be able to accept those things that make your spouse different. As time goes on and your spouse changes, you will notice that the difference is no longer pronounced. It is highly crucial that you keep this in your mind.

Always behold the difference as a means of becoming more intimate with your spouse. Stop looking at the difference negatively. Use it to bring your spouse into a deeper relationship.

You should remember that you are also different. You never can tell, your spouse may also be reacting to the difference in you just as you are struggling to accept the difference in him or her.

You should draw a line between acceptable and unacceptable differences. In other words, you should not equate acceptance with complacency as they are two different things. Discuss with your spouse the difference in him or her that can be accepted by you and those that you cannot accept.

It is critical for you to appreciate what makes your spouse different. This is hardly done in most homes and is mostly responsible for the expanding rate of divorce. Try and appreciate the difference in your spouse even if you don't feel like. With time, you will find it easy doing so.

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Article originally published on How To Get Your Ex Back article

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