Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

How to Deal With a Breakup If You Still Love Your Ex

This is an informative article By: John Dickerson, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By John Dickerson

There is no easy answer to how to deal with a breakup when you are still in love. Breakups are emotionally draining at the very least, whether you are leaving or the one who has been left. There is no magic formula to take the pain away, but there are things you can do to make it as easy as it can be.

First of all, accept that it has happened or is happening. Nothing is worse than trying to resolve a conflict or bring closure to a situation when one of the people simply refuse to accept reality. Sure, we all like to hold on to romantic notions and memories of better days, but this isnt the time to lock yourself in your room playing sappy love songs and staring at old photographs. You can only change what you acknowledge, so trying to pretend it away is useless.

Secondly, cut the crap. Too many of us lack the skills needed to express ourselves or handle conflict in a healthy way and end up resorting to manipulation. If you are genuinely devastated, acting immature will only make things worse. Begging and pleading will do nothing to make situation better, and is absolutely not how to deal with a breakup when you're still in love.

Finally, take responsibility and drop the blame game. Skip the victim mentality and take responsibility for your side of the situation. Instead of making excuses and blaming others, acknowledge that you have contributed to the issue at hand. Dont make empty promises of change just to smooth things over for the moment. Buried issues always find their way to the surface again, so it is best to deal with it properly the first time. Take an honest evaluation of yourself and try to see it from their point of view.

If you are trying to find a way to deal with a breakup when you are still in love, handling it in a mature and honest way will keep alive the chances of them taking you back or at least remaining on good terms. When we are hurt or feel vulnerable, many of us resort to unhealthy and hurtful ways. Step back and take the time to really think about things and make good, sound choices on how to go forward.

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Sunday, March 1, 2009

What's Your Love Language?

This is an informative article By: Matt Hellstrom, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Matt Hellstrom

One of the best books we have read in our marriage is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The info we gleaned from this book has supported us and uplifted our marriage numerous times. It was amazing how that happened once we learned how we like to be loved and how we love each other.

What are the Five Languages of Love?

Love languages are time, touch, service, gifts and words. Everyone has a language that makes them feel loved and cared for. You can have two but not usually. Figuring out what someones love language is can be quite challenging and possibly cause problems, like this:

Julie turned 50 last month and I wanted to make sure it was as memorable a birthday as she is. So I set about making plans with her mom to do one of our favorite things - go to a WSU Cougar basketball game and make a full getaway weekend of it. I had every little detail planned where to stay, eat, how to get there. Only thing I was going to handle later was childcare for our brood. I couldn't wait to see her face!

Well, although she liked the gift, it wasn't perfect because of the fact that she had those child care issues hanging over her head. And that didn't allow her to get excited. I had trouble understanding this, because my love language is time, and this was a gift that really spoke to that. Only problem - it wasn't my present, it was hers! Sometimes, people give love in the same language as they receive love, and that doesn't always work if the other person doesn't have the same love language as you.

The Us Factor Marriage Program

We've recently been listening to the Us Factor by Dr. Joseph Melnick, a new marriage program designed to help make a marriage better (or save it altogether). One of the things Dr. Melnick encourages in his program is to really listen to your partner, and that's exactly what I did.

We went out on date night, and had a good time. Toward the end of the evening, Julie said she wanted to talk to me about the birthday present, and I agreed to try, without getting too defensive. I tend to get childish sometimes when I think I've made a mistake, and I didn't want to do that. As we talked through the issue, we came to the realization that although Julie also has the love language of time, she has one that is more important to her. What we determined was that it was very important for the child-care problem to be addressed, and that she didn't have to do it for her to feel loved. I still didn't quite get it, so I asked her what would have been a perfect gift.

The Perfect Present

Pondering the question, she related that memories of her big 5-0 would always start with our dining out at one of our favorite family restaurants. I had taking time off from work and the kids had put on their Sunday finest and we whisked her away with her not haviing to worry about a single detail. Ah-ha! Service was her primary love language. What, you say? Service is serving another, putting them before yourself, so my not working and the kids shrugging off their favorite sweatshirts and tennies spelled LOVE to her. As did my giving her car a good cleaning early that day. Time language of love is still not far behind!

A hearty thank you to Dr. Melnick (Us Factor) and Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages) for facilitating a growing moment for me and Julie. Our marriage is better for it. The Five Love Languages book is a must read for every married couple.

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Article originally published on How To Get Your Ex Back article

Baby, Please Don't Go

This is an informative article By:Allyson Mable, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Allyson Mable

Even when you love someone and want them to be a part of your life it can be hard to make a relationship work. If your ex girlfriend has broken up with you and you aren't happy about it, don't simply settle for the end of the relationship. If she loves you and you love her, there is a chance that you can get her back in your life and actually be happy together.

The first thing you need to do is figure out what went wrong. Chances are, you know what went wrong but many men really are clueless because the girl just up and walked out of their life. If you aren't sure, try to get her or her friends to talk to you about what went wrong. When you have an understanding of what went wrong it will be much easier.

When you know what really went wrong you can look at yourself, your ex girlfriend , and the relationship and decide how things can be different. Are the things that made her unhappy things that you can change? Can you be happy while changing these things for her? If you can change and still be who you are, you may be able to salvage the relationship.

While you have decided that you would like the relationship to work, you need to give her some time to cool off. Give her about a week and then just give her a call to check up on her. Let her know that you're still there if she needs help with anything and that you want her to be alright.

Find an excuse to bring or send her a small gift. This can be a favorite flower, candy, or even some sort of trinket. You can send it openly or you can send it without giving a name. The idea is not to buy her back, but remind her that you are thinking of her. Chances are that you will put a smile on her face and reignite an old flame.

Next, you need to write her a letter. Let her know that you understand why things went wrong. Tell your ex girlfriend that you know you can fix it and be clear about how you are going to do it and what actions you have already taken. This will show her that you are serious and may soften her a bit.

Give her a few days after the letter before you contact her again. At this point, send her an email or give her a call and ask her out to get ice cream or a cup of coffee. If she accepts, chances are that she is willing to consider the relationship again. If she doesn't, you may need to give her a bit more time or accept that the relationship is really over.

After you send the letter, ask her to meet you somewhere for a scoop of ice cream or a cup of coffee. Tell her that you just want to talk to her and that you miss her. When you meet up, let her know that you want to get back together and again detail the changes you have begun to make. If she accepts the invitation, it’s a good sign!

While you are out together you should be on your best behavior. Behave like yourself, but just show her that you are capable of good treatment toward her. Make her laugh and smile at her, remind her of the warm times you have spent together. Make sure that you have a very open conversation about how you feel. Apologize if you need to for your past mistakes and make her aware of just how serious you are about having her back in your life. Share your hopes and dreams about the future with her and invite her to do the same. This may be a good time to get a look at how she really feels!

At this point you will have a good indication of whether she will take you back. If she does, make sure that you follow through on all of the things that you told her you would do. Relationships all go through good times and bad times, the idea is that you learn from your mistakes and that you stay true to your word so she can have faith in you.


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Article originally published on How To Get Your Ex Back article

Friday, February 20, 2009

Pick Up The Advice And Get Your Ex Back Forever.

This is an informative article By: Anna Baumgartner, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Anna Baumgartner

You shouldn't lose hope to Get Your Ex Back. Follow the advice and see your ex crumbling back to you begging to to take him/her back!

It doesn’t matter how far your love is now, if he/she has another partner and you separated in the worst way. Believe it or not, it is possible to win you love back. People come back to each other even after years of separation.

I say things so sure, because I had by myself a break up with my husband. And he was leaving already with another woman, but I anyway won him back. I followed a step by step strategy, and I know that everyone can do it like one-two-three.

I know what you feel now, and your pillow has seen already a lot of tears. Perhaps, the photo of your ex is very close to you, you sleep with cell phone together with a hope to get a call. I did such things; I know what it is all about.

First, don't blame yourself for what you did right or wrong.

Calling your ex and sending sms, pushes your ex away from you. You need it vice versa. That’s why for some time don't touch your phone.

Ask your friends and parents not to discuss your separation anymore.

There shouldn't be crying music and sad movies at all.

Stop drinking, if you do it now more than ever before.

I know it is not that easy, but think about the priorities: either you keep on going crying another year, or you get back together with your ex in one week or, perhaps earlier. I guess, second variant sounds better.

May be it is not the worst idea to start thinking how you look like. You don't eat, because you have no appetite and you got slimmer? Start eating, buy really tasty cakes and enjoy your meal. Or, perhaps, you have some kilos too much? Then, it is the best time to go to gym and, may be, to follow healthy diet.

Don’t escape communicating with your friends, make some plans together.

Staying on sick list to escape work, is not good. Work, see people. It does you only better.

Take your time, cheer up, make a plan, and you will see, that your ex will start doing that, what you expect. You will be surprised, by the results. You love will be thinking of you 24 hours per day. You will love your cell phone, because he will bring you happy calls.

Don't lose any time and start saving your love relationship. Get Your Ex Back like one-two-three!





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Article originally published on How To Get Your Ex Back article

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Win Back Lost Love Today

This is an informative article By: Davey Pitters, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Davey Pitters

Have you just gone through a breakup that shouldn't have happened? Different breakups may occur for different reasons, but it's never easy to deal with one no matter what the cause was. And if you want to win your ex back, you've got your work cut out for you.

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Getting your ex back isn't so much a problem of convincing your ex to want you again, but it's more of convincing your ex that the reason for the breakup won't crop up again. It doesn't matter how your breakup started " your ex probably wishes that they won't have to experience it anymore. So basically, to win back lost love, you'll need to show your ex that you're no longer the person who made the same mistakes over and over again.

Weigh Up The First Steps

In other words, you'll need to find out what exactly caused the breakup. Did you make a stupid mistake? Did you say something that came off the wrong way? Or did your ex finally give up trying to get rid of a bad habit of yours? You'll really need to know what the breakup's underlying cause was, otherwise you won't know precisely what to fix. But when you do know the reason, it'll be your job to fix it and make sure it never crops up again.

Of course, nobody said it would be easy. Not everyone can change their habits easily enough, and if you think you can't change the bad quality in you that caused the breakup, you might be better off not trying to get your ex back at all. It might just be a waste of time for both of you. Besides, even if you did manage to get your ex back, would you be sure past demons won't haunt your new relationship anytime soon?

Solutions To A Problem

But if you're willing to take the leap, then get to work right away. Take bold steps to fix whatever caused the breakup in the first place. If, for instance, your ex couldn't stand your bad temper, consciously remind yourself to stay calm whenever anything annoys you. It might even be healthy if you enrolled in some anger management or spiritual discovery course " the benefits will stick with you for life. Remember that there's more than one way to solve a problem, so keep trying until you fix your bad habit(s) for good.

Take note that you shouldn't stalk your ex when you're on the road to self-improvement. They might get the impression that you're trying to show off. If you want to get your ex back, they'll have to discover you as a better person on their own. It's a lot more impressive that way, don't you think? Actions do speak louder than words after all.

But that's not the most important thing to do. Remember that self-improvement isn't like aspirin that you take only when you have a headache. It should stick with you for as long as you want your mended relationship to last.

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Article originally published on How To Get Your Ex Back article