Sunday, February 22, 2009

How To Get My Boyfriend Back Apologies

This is an informative article By: Dax eric Christopher, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
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for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By eric Christopher

How To Get Your Ex boyfriend Back sometimes means you have to give him an effective apology. There are situations where by all you need is to apologize to your ex boyfriend in order to win him back. Relationships end because of some dumb mistakes. You may need more than an apology to get back your ex boyfriend.

To Get Your Ex boyfriend Back apology must sound genuine and sincere from your heart. If you love or care about someone, You must truly apologize for what you have done wrong. You shouldn't always expect him to apologize back at you when apologizing. This is normal and all you will need to do is to calm down.

Never say I am sorry and expect that you have given a sincere apology. An effective apology is more than saying that you are sorry. Be specific, tell him exactly what you did wrong, name what you did wrong and apologize for it. I am sorry is weak and too generic.

Admit your responsibility and never use the word BUT because it represents justification in any apology given. Genuinely accept your mistakes by avoiding this word. You don't want to make him feel like your are shifting your mistakes somewhere else. Remember that sometimes he may not show that he has accepted you apology.

To Get my Ex boyfriend Back effective apology is one that is done in time. Give your apology in time and don't wait for months to do it. Let me give you an example, If your boyfriend went on a date with another woman and apologizes after weeks or months, would you see his apology as genuine?

Make your moves as soon as possible, be specific of your wrong doing,accept your faults, don't try to justify them and expect negative feedback from your ex boyfriend. If you want to win him back, care less of your expectations from him like he should apologize or so. Check below for more free tips on How To Get my Ex boyfriend Back.


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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Relationship Issues For Children in Their Parents' Divorce

This is an informative article By: Dr Elizabeth Gordon, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
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for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Dr Elizabeth Gordon

It takes two people to make the decision to form a couple relationship . Your first such relationship to either live together or get married was probably made between two single individuals with few or no extra ties. It was less likely that there were children whose needs were to be considered at this stage.

relationship s or marriages made later in your life are more likely to have children attached to one or both of the couple. These children and their needs will change the way the new partnership can be structured.

For many couples who have successful partnerships there is a need to change this to a marriage when they want to start their own family. They feel the need for that total commitment to each other as a basis for the security of the children.

For some people becoming pregnant is very easy; for others it can cause great problems. Either party can have a low fertility problem and the explorations and treatments can put much pressure on even relatively strong relationship s.

These issues of fertility and their affect on relationship s will be dealt with in later articles. To-day we are assuming you are in a couple relationship and there are children involved in your joint family life.

The pressures and changes that occur, as the children arrive, on the couples relationship can be quite damaging in the long term in some cases. In others the developing family can be extremely fulfilling to one or both parents.

Few couples realise the enormity of the change that takes place when their roles as Husband and Wife become extended into including being a Mother or Father too. It would be a good idea for you to take a pause at this point. You need to take time to consider what positives this change added to your relationship and how it might have added stresses to your marriage when it took place.

Many adults, particularly when under pressure, assume children understand the adult problems. It is very important that parents remember that children have no experience of adult emotions. It is unfair of the parents to try to involve them in the couple's affairs and the solutions they are trying to find to their problems.

When you find yourself in a situation where your own original relationship is becoming so lost in your day to day family existence, you are suddenly faced with the suggestion of divorce as the only escape route.

This threat often reflects the need for the couple to re-think their deeper issues of what their original relationship was about. That basic relationship has its own needs and those needs have possibly been drowned out by the needs of the children.

It is time to stand back and re-balance all the different roles you have to juggle. If the pressures have caused rows and arguments, you the adults are actually arguing over grown up issues.

A common problem is when parents tell the children they do not love each other any more. It is frightening to a child to hear that their parents can stop loving each other. They have no understanding of the different type of love between the parents from the love they experience from their parents. So maybe their parent will one day just stop loving them. Scary stuff!

A child is 100% dependent on the situation that it knows for its security and safety however bad that may seem to other outsiders. The threat that a parent might leave or take them away from their known life is very frightening. To hear threats and suggestions about what might happen can cause mch unhappiness to the children.

Of course, as they get older and into their teens, they are better able to understand the compromises that can be reached during a separation or divorce. Children do learn to live with whatever life throws at them, but their fear of change through the loss of a parent is very strong. I hear this regularly from adults re-living the experience of their parents divorces when they were children. For so many their dearest wish was to find a way to get the parents back together again.

There is always a danger that the children become too involved in the negotiating of the adults over the adults future. This too can add much to the childrens pain and add to their feelings of insecurity. They need to know what is going to happen when it is definite, rather than what might be.

It is very difficult for them if they are expected to take sides between the parents. They will learn from experience , soon enough, if one parent is less available than another. They will be able to understand the reasons later on when they become adult themselves.

It is difficult to put ones self in the childrens shoes, but the adults would help them deal with the situation better, if the adults remember the children do not understand the implications and workings of adult relationship s and emotions. They are too complicated!

Every argument, every comment the child hears as a personal attack on their world and their security. They have no way of protecting themselves and the parents must be aware of their fears about it all.

If you have found this article helpful and interesting I suggest you visit my website where these issues are explored in more depth. You might find the report offered about marriages facing divorce would be helpful to you at this time. To visit the website click the link below: www.readaboutyourself.com/divorce.html

Use Ctrl+Click to follow the link or copy and paste it into your browser. I look forward to meeting you there. If you have questions or queries please use the Contact Us page.

See you at the Website Dr E Gordon



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Is Your Marriage is in Trouble? Five Warning Signs

This is an informative article By: Dena Tilson, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Dena Tilson

A very sad but true fact is that many people are completely blindsided by their spouse asking for a divorce. Oh sure, they were aware that the marriage was shaky, but had no idea that their spouse was considering ending the marriage. Here are five things that signal you need to really take a hard look at your marriage or risk having it end.

1. Having the same argument time and time again. Do the same issues keep cropping up only to prompt yet another heated argument? Maybe one or both of you storm off in anger instead of staying to work on the problem. Issues that are left unresolved are like ticking time bombs, you are never sure when they might explode.

2. Avoiding conversation. Do you turn on the television or the computer or open up a book as a way to avoid having to talk to your spouse? Avoiding talking to your spouse about the problems won't make them disappear. Lack of communication is a major marriage problem.

3. A void of physical intimacy. Do you put off or shy away from physical intimacy? Humans have a natural desire for physical closeness. One of the major things that sets a marriage apart from any other relationship is physical intimacy. Without a physical relationship, you might as well be living with a friend or a sibling.

4. Criticizing everything. Maybe your spouse is not perfect, but neither are you. Constant criticism is not only demeaning, but it is disrespectful, as well. Most people are already self-conscious of their own issues, and no one enjoys having them pointed out by someone else. Constant criticism can make a spouse shut down, tuning out your voice whenever you start to talk.

5. Letting your marriage sink to the bottom of the priority list. Do you remember how you always wanted to spend every minute together in the beginning of you relationship? That behavior is completely normal, and most couples will find a way to settle into a balanced lifestyle shortly after. Problems begin to occur when the marriage and your spouse start to become less important than other things in life.

If any of the warning signs I have talked about hit a little too close to home, I strongly suggest you begin turning things around. Problems in marriages cannot fix themselves. By leaving problems alone, and not dealing with them, you only make things worse. Blaming your spouse will not fix the problems, either. Even though saving a marriage can be hard work, your relationship is worth the effort.


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Friday, February 20, 2009

Pick Up The Advice And Get Your Ex Back Forever.

This is an informative article By: Anna Baumgartner, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Anna Baumgartner

You shouldn't lose hope to Get Your Ex Back. Follow the advice and see your ex crumbling back to you begging to to take him/her back!

It doesn’t matter how far your love is now, if he/she has another partner and you separated in the worst way. Believe it or not, it is possible to win you love back. People come back to each other even after years of separation.

I say things so sure, because I had by myself a break up with my husband. And he was leaving already with another woman, but I anyway won him back. I followed a step by step strategy, and I know that everyone can do it like one-two-three.

I know what you feel now, and your pillow has seen already a lot of tears. Perhaps, the photo of your ex is very close to you, you sleep with cell phone together with a hope to get a call. I did such things; I know what it is all about.

First, don't blame yourself for what you did right or wrong.

Calling your ex and sending sms, pushes your ex away from you. You need it vice versa. That’s why for some time don't touch your phone.

Ask your friends and parents not to discuss your separation anymore.

There shouldn't be crying music and sad movies at all.

Stop drinking, if you do it now more than ever before.

I know it is not that easy, but think about the priorities: either you keep on going crying another year, or you get back together with your ex in one week or, perhaps earlier. I guess, second variant sounds better.

May be it is not the worst idea to start thinking how you look like. You don't eat, because you have no appetite and you got slimmer? Start eating, buy really tasty cakes and enjoy your meal. Or, perhaps, you have some kilos too much? Then, it is the best time to go to gym and, may be, to follow healthy diet.

Don’t escape communicating with your friends, make some plans together.

Staying on sick list to escape work, is not good. Work, see people. It does you only better.

Take your time, cheer up, make a plan, and you will see, that your ex will start doing that, what you expect. You will be surprised, by the results. You love will be thinking of you 24 hours per day. You will love your cell phone, because he will bring you happy calls.

Don't lose any time and start saving your love relationship. Get Your Ex Back like one-two-three!





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Great Online Relationships

This is an informative article By: Charlie Reese, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Charlie Reese

Most people in the dating scene try to project a pretty independent attitude. After all, that seems to be what gets your attention. No one wants to be tied down by a codependent relationship, but after the initial thrill of the chase that is often what happens. Codependency in relationships is a serious and common problem.

It probably has something to do with the way that we are made. The bonding instinct is very strong in humans. Although not all people want to find a permanent partner, most do it sooner or later. From living together and depending on each other to becoming codependent is a small step. Usually this involves a few simple changes. Instead of enjoying and craving the other's attention, you come to depend on it. Instead of encouraging each other to grow, you excessively comfort each other. Soon, both people in the relationship become unable to function without each other. They may become emotionally destructive and undermine each other, yet they can't break out of the cycle. It repeats over and over again until they got help or the relationship ends.

Of course, codependency in relationships is not always a relationship ender. In fact, that can be one of the most serious problems. Codependent relationships can sometimes continue indefinitely no matter what either person does. It is so easy to get used to thinking and act like nothing is wrong, after all. All relationships require a lot of compromises as a basic part of them, so it can sometimes be difficult to determine when a compromise goes too far. Many people don't see when they start putting up with more than they should.

There are quite a few good tips for defeating codependency in relationships. One of them involves developing healthy outside lives. Many couples like to do a lot of things together, but you should not do everything with your significant other or spouse. Each person needs to have activities that he or she enjoys on his or her own. Healthy and honest discussion is also a possible antidote. It can do a lot to resolve the tensions that often leads to codependence in relationships.

Nonetheless, sometimes nothing but therapy will work. Sometimes codependency is really a sign of much deeper troubles, and both partners in the relationship need to get outside help to really resolved all of the underlying issues. It is never a sure thing, but if both partners are willing to work with a trained relationship counselor, usually it will help.
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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

How Can I Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend Today!

This is an informative article By: Doug Matonoso, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Doug Matonoso

It will take a solid, step-by-step plan but if you are hurting from a breakup, you CAN get her back!

In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are numerous steps to take. Here are some of the tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.

- There is always a second chance for everyone, so it's not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. But first, you should ask yourself - do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you don't want to be alone, or you don't believe you should have been dumped? If you are looking to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you may be playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided.

- Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend if your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" You absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping them to yourself. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more.

- Take some time to work on building up yourself, increase your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Later, when it comes time to work out your problems with your ex, it will put in you a much better position.

- Keep the communication lines with your ex open, you need to make her feel like you want to be civil. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her, keeping in touch casually.

- Take some time to step back and analyze what went wrong in the relationship. It had to be something - and you need to figure it out. Try to figure out a reasonable way to solve the issues.

So far, we've just covered the beginning steps. The rest of them are more delicate and must be properly handled or the they won't work. To learn the steps that almost always work, see my signature file and click the link...
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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Steps To Get Back Together With My Ex

This is an informative article By: Witt DAngelonio, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Witt DAngelonio

Have you recently gone through a break up and are wondering, "How can I get back together with my ex?"

You can find yourself falling into an emotionally depressed state, wondering what to do. You may immediately feel like calling your ex and begging him or her to come back to you. But rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse, chasing your ex away even further.

The proper way to get through this is very counterintuitive. Want to call, email or text? Don't do it! Just want to curl up in bed or cry in front of the TV all day? No, no no! Instead, here's what you do...

First...You're broken up - accept it.

True that's not what we want, but if we learn to accept it, it makes life much better. Tell anyone that asks that you are OK and "moving on". It seems odd, but by acting this way, it will dramatically ease the tension and stresses on everyone involved. You need a little space away from your ex, and they from you. Actually, after a little time away, they frequently decide they want to get back together and they make the first move.

Second...Do not contact your ex!

Do not make an effort to contact your ex anymore right now. By cutting communication off you are signaling that you have already moved on and that you are doing just fine.

This will force them to think about your relationship and their feelings about it's value to them. They'll also have some time to start missing you. After stepping back and looking at it from a little distance, they are likely to realize how important you were as a part of their lives.

Third...You need a well thought out, step by step plan on how to proceed from here.

Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning on when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. Preplan, don't wing it. Handled correctly, you can salvage your relationship. Handled incorrectly it's doomed to failure.

To learn the best way to proceed, see the link in my signature file...

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Monday, February 16, 2009

How To Get Ex Back in 3 Basic Steps

This is an informative article By: Dax Devalos, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Kendall Makono

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.

After a falling out, most people want to get their ex back, unless it was a truly terrible relationship. Sometimes they want back even if it wasn't a healthy relationship. Consider yourself fortunate to be out of it if it included physical violence.

Are you convinced that your relationship was good enough to be worth salvaging? If it is, then you need a step by step plan. Here are the initial steps to take.

To begin, tell your ex that you are sorry.

In the heat of battle, we all do and say things we shouldn't - apologizing is one of the best opening moves to get your ex back. Even if it doesn't seem to accomplish anything, it's usually the best first move. Be careful to apologize for the correct reasons. After breaking up, we can fall into the trap of blaming ourselves for everything.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

Next...Give your ex some breathing room.

It may seem like giving them some space is like taking a step backwards. Keep in mind that just because you want to see and talk to them, doesn't mean they want to see and talk with you. It's very important to give your ex a little breathing room. A brief hiatus will give you both time to cool off and for them to start to miss you. if you are constantly around, they will never have the chance to start missing you.

Third - don't let yourself fall apart.

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

Hopefully, if your ex calls, you will be OUT! They will be curious about where you are and what you're doing. Don't answer if they call you on your cell phone. Voice mail is your friend. Then, wait until the next day to call back. explain that you were just too busy to get back sooner. They'll be surprised and the curiosity will make you very desirable to them. Who knows, they may even start chasing after you!

Having a complete and thought out plan is important, for more information see my signature file and click the link...

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Is It Too Late To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

This is an informative article By: Emett Holms, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Emett Holms

If you're wondering, Can I get my ex girlfriend back? then the breakup probably wasn't so devastating that you think the relationship cant be saved. You'll have to hope she feels the same way. If any hurt was caused during the split that you should apologize for, now is the time to say you're sorry. Being sorry and sincerely showing it is a good first step.

Of course, there's no guarantees, but the odds will shift in your favor if you are doing things the right way. Try to show her how apologetic you are and show her that you miss her. Here's a vital tip...pay attention to what she does! If your gifts or apologies do nothing but make her angry, don't just keep on doing the same things, shift tactics until you find something better.

She may think you are taking the easy way out if you depend to heavily on candy and flowers. Put yourself in her place, what would SHE like? Perhaps you could try getting a blank card and writing your own prose or poetry. there's no need for it to rhyme - in fact, it's probably more effective if it doesn't. The idea is to express your feelings, not show how great of a writer you are. Try picking a bunch of wild flowers and making your own bouquet!

A common complaint among women is that men aren't thoughtful. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Try it, its one more step toward your goal of getting her back. Every positive thing stacks up, making it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Don't expect things to happen right away, though.

If this is a complete turn around from your prior actions, she may suspect your sincerity. Don't get frustrated or angry at the time it takes to win her trust, just patiently keep up your efforts. Try to get in the frame of mind of doing thoughtful things because it will make her happy, not as a tactic to get her back.

Should you date other women?

If its been a long time since the breakup, and you're still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire.

If it appears shes moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week. But don't look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really impress her.

The above is only the very beginning steps...

Most importantly is to have a preplanned, proven, step by step plan to get her back.

The most effective strategy I've found - even when all else seems hopeless - is laid out, step by step and almost always works. Check my signature file for the link to learn more...

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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Steps to get an ex back

This is an informative article By: Dax Devalos, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.

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By Dax Devalos

Just been through the pain of a break up? Want your ex back? tragically, as adults we almost all have been through one or more painful breakups, usually we just lick our wounds and try to move on rather than work at getting an ex back. The good news is that there has been a lot of psychological research into breaking up and there ARE ways that work to get back together. Just because we've all been there, doesn't mean you have to throw in the towel and give up.

The funny thing is, once you know what steps to take, getting back with an ex can be accomplished in the vast majority of cases.

The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up. Even though you cannot go back into the past, and you cannot change what happened, you can learn from the mistakes that were made and you can try to learn and grow from the experiences.

Your problems may have resulted from a single event or a build up of behaviors your ex just couldn't deal with any longer. Regardless of what happened, you need to be brutally honest with yoursef and figure them out - so you can deal with the problem and never have it happen again. There are methods that will work to get an ex back but to make it work over the long term, you really need to know what went wrong.

The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious. Instead, you should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are doing just fine by yourself. If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

Trying to get back at your ex, or trying to make your ex jealous is not a good way to operate. In fact, these are some of the worst things that you can possibly do, because it will show your ex that he or she should simply move on because you already have. While you do want your ex to see that you're doing ok, you do not want it to inspire him or her to completely move on if your ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your ex see how strong and self confident you are, and they will feel inspired to get back together with you.

The next several steps will almost always work, but have to be done correctly and in the right order. If you REALLY want your ex back, go to the site listed in my resources box and get the rest of the information...

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Thursday, February 12, 2009

Win Back Lost Love Today

This is an informative article By: Davey Pitters, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Davey Pitters

Have you just gone through a breakup that shouldn't have happened? Different breakups may occur for different reasons, but it's never easy to deal with one no matter what the cause was. And if you want to win your ex back, you've got your work cut out for you.

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Getting your ex back isn't so much a problem of convincing your ex to want you again, but it's more of convincing your ex that the reason for the breakup won't crop up again. It doesn't matter how your breakup started " your ex probably wishes that they won't have to experience it anymore. So basically, to win back lost love, you'll need to show your ex that you're no longer the person who made the same mistakes over and over again.

Weigh Up The First Steps

In other words, you'll need to find out what exactly caused the breakup. Did you make a stupid mistake? Did you say something that came off the wrong way? Or did your ex finally give up trying to get rid of a bad habit of yours? You'll really need to know what the breakup's underlying cause was, otherwise you won't know precisely what to fix. But when you do know the reason, it'll be your job to fix it and make sure it never crops up again.

Of course, nobody said it would be easy. Not everyone can change their habits easily enough, and if you think you can't change the bad quality in you that caused the breakup, you might be better off not trying to get your ex back at all. It might just be a waste of time for both of you. Besides, even if you did manage to get your ex back, would you be sure past demons won't haunt your new relationship anytime soon?

Solutions To A Problem

But if you're willing to take the leap, then get to work right away. Take bold steps to fix whatever caused the breakup in the first place. If, for instance, your ex couldn't stand your bad temper, consciously remind yourself to stay calm whenever anything annoys you. It might even be healthy if you enrolled in some anger management or spiritual discovery course " the benefits will stick with you for life. Remember that there's more than one way to solve a problem, so keep trying until you fix your bad habit(s) for good.

Take note that you shouldn't stalk your ex when you're on the road to self-improvement. They might get the impression that you're trying to show off. If you want to get your ex back, they'll have to discover you as a better person on their own. It's a lot more impressive that way, don't you think? Actions do speak louder than words after all.

But that's not the most important thing to do. Remember that self-improvement isn't like aspirin that you take only when you have a headache. It should stick with you for as long as you want your mended relationship to last.

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What Happens To You After A Divorce?

This is an informative article By: Ras Reed, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Ras Reed

There are events that occur in our lives that impact us greatly. For some individuals, this impact may result to negative change and for others, a positive change follows close on the heels of a drastic event. Whether you want to or not, the facts that a divorce changes you. It truly is your decision if that change is good or bad.

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For some human beings, a divorce makes them feel less of the people that they are supposed to be. If you are like that, you will most likely spend you time focusing on your weak points and rehashing past events. Doing this is only going to get you stuck in one place without the hope of moving forward. Others become broody and vengeful. Their former sweet dispositions are tainted by the pollution of a divorce because they let it and they can spend their whole life plotting revenge and wallowing in self pity. Others may go on a binge, eating everything within sight.

Some individuals have been known to throw in the towel, withdrawn from the society and become recluses till they die. All these changes are negative and will do you absolutely no good. To let your divorce change you positively do the following;

Accept: Accept the fact that bad things do take place and some times, the fact that you maybe a good person doesn't exempt you from that. Also, accept the fact that you played your own role to the best of your ability and forgive yourself for those times that you did not give in your best.

Embrace: Embrace life, friends and families, don't depart from any of these. Bowing out of the social scene can have a wrong impact on you.

Change yourself: Get a new wardrobe, haircut or body. Go out and do those things that being married kept you from doing. Dye your hair the color of fire or wear sexy dresses to a dinner with friends every night. Doing something that is not in line with what you would have commonly done can give you a boost in confidence and give you enough reason to live.

Hope: Don't ever lose hope. Once you still feel the flutter of hope in your chest, you grasp you can come through a divorce strong and beautiful.

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Monday, February 9, 2009

Friday Night Date Nights

This is an informative article By: Matt Hellstrom, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to get your ex back you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Matt Hellstrom

Once you start traveling down the marriage highway, it is easy to forget that one great way to keep the love alive is to spend "just you two" time. Especially after you started adding kids in the mix. We have being using Friday Night Date Night as just the way to have that time. We initially found that finding the time, money, and babysitter made the ideas of date seem like too much trouble very often. Then we some how, heard about it I think, came up with a way that made all the obstacles disappear. And I believe that our relationship reflects the benefit of that night out.

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To start with we have a large family, five children to be exact. We also were blessed with friends who have that same number of my kids and that is vital in making this work.

And this works how?

Here is the basics: every week on Friday, either us or our friends has a night out. We alternate weeks and I tell you, seldom do we miss it. The couple who is going out takes their children over to the house of the other couple around 5:30, for example Kathlyn (our friend) brings them over to our house. Julie then feeds all the kids (nuggets are a main staple) and then the kids all hang out until around 9. At that time, Julie takes Kat's kids back to their house and snuggles those cuties into bed. She then stays there until Kat & Jeff return home. And what's great is there no time limit. I'd take care of my kids back home. The next week, our turn.

Okay. Show me the reason this is so important.

In all it's simplicity, the plan is flawless. Doesn't it seem that we overthink things too much sometimes?

* A consistent, responsible babysitter who is never late nor seldom backs out. You gotta remember the babysitter has a date already on the books for next week that depends on yours going off without a hitch.

* You dont have to pay the babysitter. 6 hours for 5 kids can run into some serious change.

* Most babysitters come in teenager sizes. And for a 13 or 14 year old to manage 5 kids is asking a whole lot. The cool thing about combining the families is that they tend to babysit themselves as they play together. And it really is not all that difficult. Plus as parents with 5 kids, we have the expertise to handle the group.

*The old "I just trained my sitter and now she has a job, boyfriend, life, ____(fill in the blank)". And your out of luck. Doesn't happen here.

* You don't have to worry about phone calls. Stressing about what's going on at home can suck the fun out of a date faster than you can say "Help!!!!".

* There is no one to drive home or to pickup to take home. Everyone is in bed and has their own car (we actually live so close we walk back and forth a lot!) to get on their way. No dread dessert with this lovely meal, thanks!

* Because your kids weren't at home messing up your house, you can come home and get up with no messy clean up looming in front of you.

* And if those weren't enough reasons, the mom who stays home always has some "her time" after she puts the other couples kids to bed. How nice to relax and catch up on the stack of mail or play Wii without the kids nagging at your inability!

So what now?

I don't know about you, but even though my older kids babysit others and their siblings, the reasons listed previously (phone calls, messy house, etc) keeps on track with the current course of date night. We foresee this happening until all our kiddos move on down the road.

So what's stopping you? Ask those friends that as are harried as you are and long to wear grown up clothes and have grown up conversations. If you can't ask, just shove this article in their hand and look at them pleadingly.

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Save Your Marriage - Take a Look at The Us Factor

This is an informative article By: Matt Hellstrom, how ever I suggest if you are really serious about learning steps
to save your marriage you check out
The Magic Of Making Up
for the most advanced methods available today on the subject.
By Matt Hellstrom

What is The Us Factor?

As soon as you open The Us Factor, you are drawn to get going! It is another product from the producers of the Total Transformation parenting support package, which has become quite popular. I couldn't wait to see if I could get the same results in my marriage as I got in my parenting. And the fact that they start small and get big results was a plus for me because overhauling my marriage from the get go seemed well, overwhelming!

Us Factor Behind the Scenes

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The creator of the Us Factor is Dr. Joseph Melnick, a licensed psychologist. Dr. Melnick is a couples and family therapist, organizational consultant and author of numerous articles and book chapters on intimacy, ethics and organizational dynamics.

Dr. Melnick has worked with couples in his private practice for over twenty years. He holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Cincinnati. Currently, he is Co-Chair of the Cape Cod Training Program and a board member of the Gestalt International Study Center. He is Editor-in-Chief of Gestalt Review, a publication that concentrates on the Gestalt approach to clinical, family, group and organizational topics.

The Dollar Investment

The Us Factor is relatively inexpensive, especially if you compare the price to couples counseling (not to say that counseling isnt an excellent route to go - we've been to counseling on and off over the years, and we sincerely believe that without it, we wouldn't still be together. Dr. Melnick also makes it a point to say in the very first DVD that counseling is extremely beneficial). However, many people don't want to go to counseling for a variety of reasons, such as the following:

* It is hard to imagine telling someone they don't know their issues.

* Don't know how they can pay for it.

* They don't have the time.

Us Factor makes all these excuses mute. Why? Because you can use the program at your leisure, in your own home and the cost to get going is only shipping and handling. Once you have tried it for free for a month, it is easy to keep using it for and all you can just pay over a 3 month period.

What do you get for your money?

Us Factor marriage program has:

* Twelve DVD topics

* An accompanying workbook that you can follow along in.

* 800 support access

* A Free Bonus DVD

This is a very nice, professional looking product contained in a book-like folder, that would look great on your bookshelf. Its very well done.

OK, enough about the physical product, what kind of information do you get?

You get a taste of what to expect when you watch the Day One DVD. It seems in line from what I have learned in marriage counseling and that is exciting for me to share because of the good things that counseling has done for my marriage. I have watched the 1st three DVDs and I like what I see and am motivated by the information to want more. I especially like the way Dr. Melnick has the couples sitting knee to knee so they can talk to each other and watch their spouses reactions to their words. This is valuable.

His philosophy comes out right at first - that small changes can make a big difference in your marriage, and that marriage is an ongoing event where you have to practice skills to succeed. The goal of the Us Factor is to teach us those skills. He gives an example of a teenager driving a car - you're not just going to give them the keys and say "Go at it!" You're going to teach them the skills they need first, then send them out into the world. Marriage is the same way. All too often, we get into marriage because of love, then when the love fades, we don't have the skills to keep it going. These skills are what were going to learn from Dr. Melnick.

Dr. Melnick says that love is like driving the car from Maine to California. Fun, don't notice any problems and you are there! However, the return trip is not so smooth, potholes, deer in the road, in-laws. And now is when those skills are sorely needed.

So far, everything I have seen in the Us Factor leads me to suggest this marriage counseling program as a good one. It coincides with some of the things I have learned in counseling, doesn't contradict anything, and actually adds to it in other areas.

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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Divorce: How To Save Your Marriage

By Ras Reed

One of the things you must discern is that we are not the same. Even twins are different in terms of personality and character. Commonly, when you meet someone, the first thing that catches your attention in that person is what is absent in you that the person has. Even though you may have something in common with the person you are going out with, there will still be some things that make the two of you different from each other. You should discern that it is this difference that made you marry your wife or husband in the first place.
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The rationale why numerous marriages break up is because they fail to recognize the differences that brought them together before everything. In other words, they never permitted the differences. But if you accept or are aware of the differences, you will desist from any attempt to change your spouse. If you keep attempting to change him or her, you will become trapped in a frustrating marriage and once you can no longer bear, you select divorce. What you must do is to cultivate the habit of acceptance and you can do so by observing the following.

Make sure you keep an open mind. Without it, you will not be able to accept those things that make your spouse different. As time goes on and your spouse changes, you will notice that the difference is no longer pronounced. It is highly crucial that you keep this in your mind.

Always behold the difference as a means of becoming more intimate with your spouse. Stop looking at the difference negatively. Use it to bring your spouse into a deeper relationship.

You should remember that you are also different. You never can tell, your spouse may also be reacting to the difference in you just as you are struggling to accept the difference in him or her.

You should draw a line between acceptable and unacceptable differences. In other words, you should not equate acceptance with complacency as they are two different things. Discuss with your spouse the difference in him or her that can be accepted by you and those that you cannot accept.

It is critical for you to appreciate what makes your spouse different. This is hardly done in most homes and is mostly responsible for the expanding rate of divorce. Try and appreciate the difference in your spouse even if you don't feel like. With time, you will find it easy doing so.

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Article originally published on How To Get Your Ex Back article